Barlow's Beef: What will be the diet fad of 2017?

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I bumped into the 20 year-old daughter of an ex neighbour today. We stopped and chatted about families and who was doing what. She's always been a pretty girl so I was surprised at her obsession with dieting. Once on the subject I couldn't get her off.

When I told her she looked perfectly good as she was she recited a litany of her imperfections disguised behind a nervous giggle. While I thought she looked fine she clearly did not and I couldn't help but wonder what mirror she was using.

There are some very troubled ladies at the gym I use. The addition of an extra gram drives them on an exercise regime Mo Farah couldn't sustain. I actually saw a lady working out with her leg in plaster. How desperate do you have to be to do that?

Every year there seems to be some new fad/mad diet or step-box-spin-exercise regime aimed directly at women. Seems to me our ladies have been brainwashed.

I can understand anyone totally out of shape wanting to do something about it but it never stops there. Once they've achieved their target weight there is always some part of their body that needs toning or reducing. While most men keep fit or lose weight for a specific goal for women there is no end.

By the time they hit their desired weight it's not 'desired' any more. There's always a recalcitrant thigh or a stubborn buttock that must be trimmed. It doesn't have to be much out of kilter a couple of millimetre is enough to drive some ladies into a whirling Dervish.

What's going to happen when they run out of body parts to trim, tone, starve and fret over. Are we going to have the Twelve-week Ear Lobe workout becoming the must-do class for 2017?

"Right ladies, loosen up those ears with a one-and-two and (hurry up girls we're just starting get changed in the cubicles and join us).

"Sorry, Melissa, you're wearing the wrong trainers for this class. Please bring the ones with the cleats next week.

"And-a- one -and-two and shake those lobes.

"Two complete circles clockwise... -three-four-five. Now anti clockwise three-fou-five.

"That's not anti-clockwise, Melissa, unless you live in Australia six-seven-eight."

Come on girls, you really don't need to be that dissatisfied with yourselves. Stop worrying.

Remember everyone has a skeleton in the cupboard (except for David Beckham who married his).

Beauty really is in the eye of the beholder. If your man doesn't love you as you are don't get a new body...get a new man.

The views and opinions expressed in this column are those of the author and do not necessarily represent those of alderleyedge.com.

Tags:
Barlow's Beef, Vic Barlow
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Comments

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Harry Martin
Tuesday 31st January 2017 at 3:34 pm
Pressure to be silly thin comes from everywhere .Many fashion items are only sold up to Size 14 . If Mum diets then what does this say at an early age to children ? I am all for kids playing sport but certain sports encourage strict diets if you do them to comp level . Anyone slightly overweight is described as fat by my 7 year old granddaughter and her peer group. Have you ever seen a cuddly normal sized doll sold for a child to play with ?