www.alderleyedge.com can exclusively reveal that the Parish Council are exploring plans to introduce an underground metro system as a solution to the village's long-term parking problems.
The scheme will make use of historic mineshafts and tunnels to create 13 underground railway stations designed to encourage people to travel by train rather than by car.
Councillor Craig Browne commented "This project will help take cars off our streets, create new job opportunities and encourage visitors to the village." He admitted that discussions with Cheshire East Council are ongoing, but that initial requests for funding had been positively received by Cabinet Member for Transport, Councillor Ralp Folio.
Other members of the Parish Council appear equally enthusiastic about the project, with Councillor Mike Taylorson offering to give up his allotment in order to create an entrance to one of the new stations; a ballot of Allotment Society members is to be taken to formally ratify this decision.
As shown in the above drawing, headroom clearance on the platforms will be raised by several feet compared with the usual design. This was requested by Councillor Mike Dudley-Jones, who also confirmed that he is working on a 1,000 page presentation (to be available in the library soon).
Councillor Myles Garbett (Finance) sounded a note of caution on proposals for a separate station at Chorley Hall Lane Playing Field however, saying "We are still waiting for our consultants to produce a cost-benefit analysis and evidence of need for a station at this location."
There is also disagreement within the Parish Council in respect of the station names, with Councillor Christine Munro campaigning for "Piccolino Circus" to be renamed "Jam Central" and Councillor Ruth Norbury launching a counter proposal for it to be renamed "Honey Pot Lane" instead.
In his role as Parish Council Chairman, Councillor Geoff Hall has been attempting to mediate, but admitted "It is a sticky issue as the pair of them are currently hundreds of jars apart, but I'm hoping that common sense will prevail and that peace will eventually be preserved."
Meanwhile, councillors Rachael Grantham and Ilana Higham have launched a naming competition, offering a Grantham's luxury hamper and afternoon tea at Aldeli as prizes. Readers are invited to submit their proposed station names below and the winners will be announced on 31st April 2016.
T-shirts bearing the new 'Alderley Edge Metro' design will be available for purchase at this year's May Fair, to help raise funds for the project.
Updated: Hope you enjoyed reading Councillor Craig Browne's April Fool.
For some more April Fools fun check out our previous articles by clicking on the April Fool tag below.
Comments
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A station near Granthams please; 'pie-in-the-sky-halt'
Mike Dudley-Jones proposal to raise the roof is an example. Wouldn't it be more cost effective to simply shorten his legs?
As for a station at the allotments....... lettuce hope that this is the endive the line and Mike Taylorson has bean planning it properly and not just dangling a carrot to get people digging his patch for him..... the plot thickens!